In medias res

You are assuming that you’re alone in your room and you’re right about it, that you are alone and yet you can’t get this feeling that you aren’t so you tried to pass some time by doing some freewriting in your blog oh what the heck you named your post in medias res now it was supposedly taken from one of your discussions in your class why would you use it may be it’s because you are in the middle of freaking things, this is not the end, and you are past the start, you are drowning yourself to all this work believing that you won’t feel that pain when you’re busy or tired but you can’t control yourself and still managed to call her up and yet you are a stubborn fool and aside from that you don’t know what you’re doing hmmm maybe doing this everyday might exorcise those thoughts that’s haunting you and this is a very good exercise on warming you up in writing it is late why won’t you sleep is it because of thinking that you still need to do something oh what the heck you can’t stop writing and is now talking to yourself you imagine yourself in the future and you still think that you don’t want teaching HS to be your ultimate career in life you’re still dreaming of becoming something big but you yourself doesn’t know what you really want and so you rely on your own intuition trusting it that it will take you down to the right path and you sort of think of it that way but what if you are just rationalizing your wrong decisions and it still no enough for own self to tell you that then fine write here write write write and then don’t stop just keep on writing and think about all the things that makes you sad happy angry etc all emotions mixed up into one chaotic wall of text you haven’t done this for a year you owe yourself into warming up you are here all alone typing in your laptop and is suppose to be doing something important but you postpone until it’s too late you are an idiot people whom you don’t know has a lot to tell about you being intelligent smart etc but does those things count do those make you happy what do you really want to do?

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~ by rosmant on August 1, 2009.

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